Meant To Be

A lot of times I hear people say “if its meant to be, it will happen”. From where I see things, honestly this statement doesnt make sense to me. “If it is meant to be then it will be happen” just read the statement! It sounds as if the entire carousel is in the hands of a machine which just follows a set of commands, or you can also think of it like a gambling machine where you have no control on the outcome. In either case, it sounds as if we have no control over what happens and “Allah is not objectified as The One Who orchestrates all events”. Its almost akin to an atheistical point of view, where there isnt the notion of a being called God or Allah.

The Messenger of Allah (may peace and blessings be upon him) said “Nothing can change your destiny except dua”. This hadtih itself begs the question, if everything is meant to be, then why would Allah reveal to us through His messenger (may peace be upon him) that “what is meant to be, can be changed by dua”? Afterall isnt “meant to be” a synonym for “destiny”?

I recently heard a story. A woman during the time of Prophet Moses (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah for a child for many years, with zero results. So one day Moses asked Allah why isnt He granting her a child. Allah replied that it is not in her destiny to have children. After a while, one day Moses saw her with a baby in her arms. Curious, he asked her, only to be greeted with a reply,” I didnt give up even though Allah declined my request. I know He can do anything, He can give me a baby.” And Allah did. SubhanAllah (all glory and perfection is to Allah).

Sometimes possibilities and impossibilities are mere limitations of the mind. The prophet saw said to not use the word “if” during calamities for a reason. Because the word “if” is full of uncertainties, and where there are uncertainties there is always doubt. Dua(prayer) and uncertainties therefore dont bring an answer (which is also something the Prophet said). So its vital to clear up the “if meant to be” mindset in order to bring the conviction and faith in the prayers that we make. (I am NOT referring to istikhara. Sometimes we give up on basics of life like job, wealth, marriage or children because we think we arent meant to have them.)

This is something I wrote a while ago to help combat the negative doubts that creep in:

Acknowledge the thought. Realise the negative thought is a part of your mind thats trying to protect you from heartache by telling you beforehand what it “thinks” will happen.

However its only a thought, and it has no more power than a good thought. So acknowledge the thought, thank it for trying to protect you, and then tell it “while I appreciate your care, I now let you go. I choose to believe it will work, because its the promise of my messenger (peace be upon him), and I choose to believe him. It was nice knowing you, thought, but now I am going to choose a thought that makes me happy and look forward to manifestation of my duas”..

It might sound crazy but if you can be persistent eventually your subconscious will accept this new thought, inshaAllah…

A/N: Nothing mentioned here are a scholarly opinion and are intended to be taken only as reflections to strengthen faith. As always, take any good you get and leave the rest to collect dust ❤️

And please do remember me in your duas, that Allah opens my doors that I am asking Him to open. Thank you for reading ❤️❤️

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It Never Happened: Ordinary Miracles

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I felt horrible about it as soon as I got off the phone, because I realised what had I done. I should have been careful, I should have double checked my work before submitting. I cant possibly afford to make another hefty mistake after coming this far. Why is it so hard ? Why do I always have to check my work? Why am I not allowed any mercy for any humanly mistake I make? It was one of those overwhelming moments, one where you are suddenly infused with uncontrollable grief, pain and sadness. Emotions bottled up, frustrations pent up- all came out at once as I stifled my sobs behind closed doors, bracing myself for yet another sleepless night.

I tried to pray, but nothing came out. Tried to have a little compassionate pep talk with myself, sending the frightened child inside me some love and companionship, convincing it yet again that Allah and us are a team, and that we are going to be okay. I just have to bite my teeth and let this pain pass through this moment, and because this pain is excruciating, the guilt is overwhelming, I am allowed to do whatever I want to make this as easy as it could get. I tossed away my notebooks and everything that I was working on. It all seemed futile now. I asked a friend to pray for me though!

After a few minutes, I mastered the strength to pick up my Quran to finish my daily Baqarah. (Read here for my daily Baqarah challenge).  I really could do nothing right now. Nothing and noone could help me. I remembered a conversation I had earlier in the day about healing from the Quran, and started reading the Baqarah as if my last lifeline depended on it. After 4-5 minutes of reading, I started to feel the emotions subside. I cant explain or pinpoint the feeling, I guess its one akin to the Ecstasy drug they take to feel so. But neverthless atleast the pain wasn’t as much, which is still something. I even walked out of my room and faked a smile as I passed through the lounge, noone could tell anything. So the calmness was working.

Something in me spoke up. I realised that I made mistake yes, but I coulnd’t let myself wallow in self pity because there is nothing I could do. I had to do whatever I could, and if that means just plain Istighfar (i.e ask for forgiveness from Allah), then so be it. Since when did Allah need my efforts to fix up messes that I create? After all  He created me a human, so by nature I am supposed to make mistakes. He is the One who is perfect, so He is supposed to fix what I goof up. (This is something I learnt previously, here ),

So I freshened up from my disheavelled state, and sat down on my bed with my tally counter, to ask for forgiveness to Allah and for Him to rectify the issue. I was no longer feeling the tightness in the chest. I felt numb, which was much better than the pain of reprimanding myself for messing up such an important project I have been working on so diligently.

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Just as I sat down ( I just made the intention, hadn’t started istighfar yet), my phone vibrated with an incoming phone call. The client called and said the meeting is still in place tomorrow. By the end of the conversation I realised that the client HAD NO IDEA of the mistake I had made, because NO MISTAKE was made at all. SubhanALLAH! Allah manoeuvred and orchestrated everything within an hour such that He literally hit the UNDO button, no mistake was actually made at all. I have no idea how it happened, because my sent messages clearly show that I did. It is unexplainable and doesn’t make sense. I don’t know if it is because of the loving pep talk I had with myself about self compassion (afterall Allah says to be kind with His creations), the Baqarah reciting with tears streaming down my eyes,  the intent to do istighfar as the last resort (based on the saying of the Messenger, may peace and blessings be upon him, that actions are but by their intentions), the dua made by others (which is guaranteed to be answered), or perhaps none (perhaps it was Allah’s love and mercy which is not conditioned on us doing anything to be eligible for). I do not know. But at a time when everyday is an uphill battle, putting one foot in front of the other, these little things (at that overwhelming moment it was not little at all. That was all I could think of that moment) get us going. They make us realise that Allah is always speaking to us, sending messages and signs, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more. Little miracles like this want us to believe that somewhere out there, there is still magic! If you cant find it, it will come find you.

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Please remember me in your prayers that Allah opens the doors I am asking Him to open. Thanks

Of Pen And Muses: Story Of Duha Prayer

I was going over my gratitude journal for January…on January 20th out of frustration I prayed duha prayer with the intent that Allah grants me my dd job…I started a duha challenge with myself that daily I will read duha prayer (which is equivalent to doing charity, based on the sayings of Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings be upon him)… On 22nd and 23rd I got 3 interview calls, after trying since November…I also do daily istighfar, Baqarah and qiyam alhamdulillah…I have never had such interviews and yes they are not my dream job, but they definitely will make it easy for me to get that…

We don’tget a lot of stories of duha prayer so I thought I would write one…

It might sound crazy but I think its because I prayer duha, but ALSO because I wrote about this challenge to monitor changes. There is something about writing- goals, challenges, duas, affirmations, gratitude; changes in external affairs happen more significantly when we write. This is something that took me a long time to realise. And it makes sense because Allah has highlighted the power of pen by taking an oath with it. I always felt that no matter how “crappy” my gratitude journal entries are, as long as I wrote them, Allah would see my efforts to be grateful. But once I extended that “experiment” to writing other things like goals and etc, I realised there is something “more” in the “realm of the unseen” about the power of pen.

Disclaimer: The views presented in the post solely are my personal opinion from experience; it is NOT AT ALL any scholarly view. So take the good you get and leave the rest to collect dust.

If you benefitted from this post, albeit as insignificantly as having a good time, please make dua that Allah puts barakah in all my efforts and grants me all the doors I am asking to be opened, quickly and not delayed. I am at a time constraint here. You can just say ameen in your heart and that should suffice too, biidnillah, by the permission of Allah)

The Painted Veil: Story Of A Prayer Answered

Dear Readers,

I recently had a conversation with a very dear friend of mine, who had been battling tremendous amount of hardship for a long time.  She got married very early for her age, and mashaAllah have very beautiful children. But her marriage had been a turmoil since as long as she can remember. She has been married for 8 years and the journey has been anything but a turmoil, akin to riding in Noah’s ark. There were times when she was tested to the limits with her marriage such that I would never want anyone to be tested with. She tried a lot of duas, with sincerity and honesty, but the results came out zilch.
Recently, finding no other way, she asked others to pray for her, to get a clarity of things, to get a direction of what she should do, because it was becoming unbearable for her. And soon after that, within just a few months, her matters started resolving on their own, flowing smoothly mashaAllah, may Allah always protect her happiness. So I reached out to her and wanted to know what is it she did because of which her years of trials and tests came to an end. I am posting our conversations here, with the hope and intention that it might reach out to a soul yearning for direction and clarity in life. Even though the context is marriage, I am sure the advice can be used generally for other situations as well. As I always say, take the good that you get, and leave the rest to collect dust.

Q: Can I ask you something? Apart from asking others to make dua for you, did you do any specific act of worship because of which your matters sorted out so smoothly and quickly, mashaAllah may Allah always protect you ?

A:I prayed 2 rakah nafl after praying fard n sunnah during Isha. My niyah for the 2 rakah nafl was Allah to take away my confusion, set things straight for me, ease my difficulties, give my heart some peace. (I didnt specifically ask to be or not to be with my husband. I left that on Allah. )

Q:So you prayed 2 nawafil after Isha sunnah before witr right?

A: Yes


Q:Ooh also did you make any specific dua in that extra 2 rakah or your intention was clear so you didnt make any specific dua for those 2 rakah?

A:I didn’t make specific dua. TBH I prayed for peace of mind and peace of heart and love. I often make nafl prayer when I’m lil uneasy, if committed minor sins or something. And through it I ask Allah to forgive me.Like if I’ve sinned ( talked behind someone’s back, or didn’t treat my kids right). When I stand in prayer for those 2 rakahs I humble my self and put all of my focus in it. And hope for Allah’s forgiveness.I pray properly, with my mind and body, and I also pray slower than usual.

Q: Hmmm so you tied forgiveness to your intention as well thats very smart mashaAllah cuz forgiveness of Allah opens doors.

A:Yeah, basically it’s very rare that I pray nafl just for the heck of it. I usually have an intent, a reason, behind it.Allah may or may not look at he quantity of our prayers but He will for sure look at the quality. I need to practice this more my self…. but yeah.

Q:If you dont mind, do you think there was any reason for things to remain unchanged for so many years for you and suddenly to change? Like was it only destiny (qadr) or may be some changes in your worship was the reason things were slugging?

A:I don’t have an answer really. The only thing that I did until few months ago was that I blamed everyone for my life, and I had reasons to. But I don’t do that anymore, because I can’t really picture my life with anyone else 😐.And I only saw negative in my husband, and I see more positive than negative now and it’s not like he changed drastically or anything but yeah my mind focuses on the positive.😊 

The only thing that’s different in life right now is that I have clarity. It’s not a perfect life nor is it a perfect marriage and in fact I think none of those “perfect” marriages/ lives, exist. It’s how you perceive your situation that matters. Sometimes your have to see it through someone else’s point of view to appreciate what you’ve got and I believe that’s what I’ve done and that’s where I benefited.

She recently celebrated her 8th marriage anniversary, and I must say she is a totally different person now. Alhamdulillah, mashaAllah, tabarakAllah. May Allah always protect her and keep her like this. She has outgrown herself from the helpless, despairing damsel in distress, and I sincerely request that you join me to say “ Ameen” (Amen) as I pray that Allah blesses her (and everyone reading this post seeking to gain some help) with a lifetime’s worth of joy, love, peace, health, ease and prosperity with all the loved ones, from this life to the next. Ameen.

We dont need to be particularly good or worthy to be deserving of relief from Allah. Most of us are ordinary people- some of us do or dont do our hijabs, some of us do nor dont spend time shopping online all day, some of us do or dont expose ourselves do unpleasant things to TV ( Of course we should try to be better than how we are now, there is always room for improvement.) But the fact lies that at the end of the day, we all have hopes to have our duas answered. In fact, hope is weak, we need to have full faith. Someone very wise once said to me, “when you want something, tell youself- I want it and Allah will give it to me. It doesnt matter how things look like, you just need to know this and have full faith that Allah will give you. Any other thoughts, just block them”. As difficult as it is to do, its not anymore complicated than that.

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Mixed Blessings: Surah Baqarah

I am one Surah Baqarah month old today, Alhamdulillah. I took up a “Finish Surah Baqarah Twice Every Month” challenge with my friend starting September 1, and I wanted to share some changes this has brought in my life.

To begin with, to my immense surprise instead of every 14 days (my Quran recitation is not the vert best, I am slow) it took my 2-3 days to complete Surah Baqarah. So every 2/3 days I would start over. In fact once I finished within one day only. Its unbelievable how my recitation speed picked up as soon as I made the intention. Alhamdulillah.

I saw a lot of changes in my daily life. All my day-to-day duas started to get answered, the ones like “Oh Allah please dont let their be any queue for coffee, I know I started late but I still want to reach on time, Please wake me up for Tahajjud”- all the daily duas were happening Alhamdulillah. What that did is to a great extent it smoothed out my day to day life, trimming the edges of daily challenges, and made things easily doable. Completing a  one hour assignment in 30mins, finding all the relevant information that is needed- soon became a routine. All praise and thanks to Allah.

Some other remarkable changes have happened on the personal forefront as well. Not to mention that the ease in day to day life has tremendously helped me keep up with gratitude- everyday manifesations of tiny little duas filled up my gratitude journal with entries and slowly (still in process) helping my faith muscle to build. The effects of gratitude have then been rippling on to the major duas and the carousel has since then been turning Alhamdulillah.

I am also someone with an extremely restless subconscious mind. Dreaming about everything that I do during the day has been something I have had since I can remember. Moreover, for about a year I have been suffering from nightmares. Even though I do the morning and everning recitations daily, for some reason I didnt really see much results in terms of peaceful sleep. But with recitation of Baqarah, alhamdulillah my subconscious has sobered up tremendously. In the entire month I probably had 3/4 nighmares which is nothing compared to multiple ones every night, and that too they came because I was overthinking from stress.

I read the Baqarah on my tablet. I read it while commuting, during TV commercials, at night as a bedtime read. So I am constantly hooked up to my tablet. After Fajr I try to read atleast 1 verse, because the benefits are more during that time. Allah said if you busy yourself with Quran recitation, He will suffice you in other areas.So sometimes if I am busy, I just read one verse after Fajr (because its already sunrise time by then) and then do my morning adhkars during breakfast. Because I have an extremely busy schedule, its hard for me to take out “quality time” for fancy recitations. I just do whatever, whenever, however I can. And from what I see (and I have always advocated for it), Allah sometimes likes the “crappy/ugly” acts of worship more than the “pretty and prettier” ones. Instead of couning how often I complete the surah or how much I read, I just make sure I read. Quantity is just a number.

For someone like me who has had troubles leading a normal day to day life, Surah Baqarah has helped me significantly in very subtle ways to push through in the past one month. If you want to add Baqarah in your daily life, let me tell you this- the devil will not like it at all. So it will tell you all the reasons it will not work out and how difficult it will be to keep up. Trust me, I know because it took me one month (the whole of August) to convince myself to add this in my life. But let me tell you, even if it seems “difficult”, there is something magical about the way it becomes “effortless”. It just becomes effortless doable to recite it everyday. 

Give it a shot!


(For details about the benefits of Surah Baqarah, please go over the sayings of our Prophet pertaining to them, may peace and blessings be upon him).

Take any good that you get, and leave the rest to collect dust.

Power of Ayatul Qursi 


I was sitting in the lobby waiting, and in front of me was a Muslim woman. Her son had a really big fight with her and left home. She was waiting in the lobby for something and was telling me about it. Things seemed pretty rough. In between our conversations, I noticed her reciting something constantly, perhaps a dua. We were talking for a good half an hour or so, when suddenly her son came back and aplogised to her. It seemed so unbelievable because from the descriptions of the things her son said, there was no way he was returning home anytime that day, atleast. But when I saw him come back and apologise to her, I couldnt help but wonder what is it she was reciting. Before she left with her son, she told me it was the power of ayatul qursi. She says everytime she lands in a problem, she keeps reciting ayatul qursi like her life depends upon it. And mashaAllah tabarakAllah (may Allah protect her blessings and increase her) Allah always resolves things for her. I had to believe her because the way I saw her son come back (I earlier saw the way he left home) it literally seemed like a tiny miracle in front of my eyes. It had to be Allah literally flip his heart to bring him back and with an apology.

Even for myself I remember a time when ayatul Qursi worked. I mistakenly left a valuable item at work and it was weekend. So I had to wait till Monday for the doors to unlock and go back to the building. Needless to say, I had no other option and I kept reciting Ayatul Qursi as I was coming home, asking Allah to protect my stuffs. I knew there would be cleaners working in the building and they did have keys to all the rooms for cleaning purposes, and that was stressing me. So I told Allah by virtue of Ayatul Qursi to protect my belongings and not only did Allah protect it, after a while even my stress disappeared. I was calm over the weekend and found all my belongings intact on Monday. Alhamdulillah…

What is your Ayatul Qursi story? 

Look Closer

I was waiting for the bus for a while, but as soon as I made dua it came. Alhamdulillah. My feet were sore so I made another quick dua to Allah to find me a seat inside, so I wont have to stand. When I got in, by force of habit my eyes scanned the single seats and found them occupied, so I resorted to standing with everyone else. But as the bus started moving, I turned and saw one empty seat at the back, staring back at me. Had I looked closer beyond my usual preferred seats, I would have found that Allah did infact answer my dua, I was the one who carelessly jumped into the conclusion that He didnt. I didnt look hard enough.

I started to wonder as I sat down, how many times do we do this with our duas? How many times we are quick enough to jump into the conclusion that our duas didnt get answered just by scanning the surface, carelessly overlooking the details? How much effort do we actually put into looking for our “answered duas”? Do we look enough? Should we search harder? Are we heedlessly dismissing our “already answered duas” just because we havent expanded our intellectual horizons to the possibility of the different ways they can be delivered?Are we really looking meticulously for the delivery of our wishes, wants and needs which we pray for?

Are we truely, sincerely, genuinely looking hard enough?

Something I ask myself first and foremost as I think of this verse from the Quran (3:191).