It Never Happened: Ordinary Miracles

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I felt horrible about it as soon as I got off the phone, because I realised what had I done. I should have been careful, I should have double checked my work before submitting. I cant possibly afford to make another hefty mistake after coming this far. Why is it so hard ? Why do I always have to check my work? Why am I not allowed any mercy for any humanly mistake I make? It was one of those overwhelming moments, one where you are suddenly infused with uncontrollable grief, pain and sadness. Emotions bottled up, frustrations pent up- all came out at once as I stifled my sobs behind closed doors, bracing myself for yet another sleepless night.

I tried to pray, but nothing came out. Tried to have a little compassionate pep talk with myself, sending the frightened child inside me some love and companionship, convincing it yet again that Allah and us are a team, and that we are going to be okay. I just have to bite my teeth and let this pain pass through this moment, and because this pain is excruciating, the guilt is overwhelming, I am allowed to do whatever I want to make this as easy as it could get. I tossed away my notebooks and everything that I was working on. It all seemed futile now. I asked a friend to pray for me though!

After a few minutes, I mastered the strength to pick up my Quran to finish my daily Baqarah. (Read here for my daily Baqarah challenge).  I really could do nothing right now. Nothing and noone could help me. I remembered a conversation I had earlier in the day about healing from the Quran, and started reading the Baqarah as if my last lifeline depended on it. After 4-5 minutes of reading, I started to feel the emotions subside. I cant explain or pinpoint the feeling, I guess its one akin to the Ecstasy drug they take to feel so. But neverthless atleast the pain wasn’t as much, which is still something. I even walked out of my room and faked a smile as I passed through the lounge, noone could tell anything. So the calmness was working.

Something in me spoke up. I realised that I made mistake yes, but I coulnd’t let myself wallow in self pity because there is nothing I could do. I had to do whatever I could, and if that means just plain Istighfar (i.e ask for forgiveness from Allah), then so be it. Since when did Allah need my efforts to fix up messes that I create? After all  He created me a human, so by nature I am supposed to make mistakes. He is the One who is perfect, so He is supposed to fix what I goof up. (This is something I learnt previously, here ),

So I freshened up from my disheavelled state, and sat down on my bed with my tally counter, to ask for forgiveness to Allah and for Him to rectify the issue. I was no longer feeling the tightness in the chest. I felt numb, which was much better than the pain of reprimanding myself for messing up such an important project I have been working on so diligently.

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Just as I sat down ( I just made the intention, hadn’t started istighfar yet), my phone vibrated with an incoming phone call. The client called and said the meeting is still in place tomorrow. By the end of the conversation I realised that the client HAD NO IDEA of the mistake I had made, because NO MISTAKE was made at all. SubhanALLAH! Allah manoeuvred and orchestrated everything within an hour such that He literally hit the UNDO button, no mistake was actually made at all. I have no idea how it happened, because my sent messages clearly show that I did. It is unexplainable and doesn’t make sense. I don’t know if it is because of the loving pep talk I had with myself about self compassion (afterall Allah says to be kind with His creations), the Baqarah reciting with tears streaming down my eyes,  the intent to do istighfar as the last resort (based on the saying of the Messenger, may peace and blessings be upon him, that actions are but by their intentions), the dua made by others (which is guaranteed to be answered), or perhaps none (perhaps it was Allah’s love and mercy which is not conditioned on us doing anything to be eligible for). I do not know. But at a time when everyday is an uphill battle, putting one foot in front of the other, these little things (at that overwhelming moment it was not little at all. That was all I could think of that moment) get us going. They make us realise that Allah is always speaking to us, sending messages and signs, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more. Little miracles like this want us to believe that somewhere out there, there is still magic! If you cant find it, it will come find you.

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Please remember me in your prayers that Allah opens the doors I am asking Him to open. Thanks

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Of Pen And Muses: Story Of Duha Prayer

I was going over my gratitude journal for January…on January 20th out of frustration I prayed duha prayer with the intent that Allah grants me my dd job…I started a duha challenge with myself that daily I will read duha prayer (which is equivalent to doing charity, based on the sayings of Prophet Muhammad, may peace and blessings be upon him)… On 22nd and 23rd I got 3 interview calls, after trying since November…I also do daily istighfar, Baqarah and qiyam alhamdulillah…I have never had such interviews and yes they are not my dream job, but they definitely will make it easy for me to get that…

We don’tget a lot of stories of duha prayer so I thought I would write one…

It might sound crazy but I think its because I prayer duha, but ALSO because I wrote about this challenge to monitor changes. There is something about writing- goals, challenges, duas, affirmations, gratitude; changes in external affairs happen more significantly when we write. This is something that took me a long time to realise. And it makes sense because Allah has highlighted the power of pen by taking an oath with it. I always felt that no matter how “crappy” my gratitude journal entries are, as long as I wrote them, Allah would see my efforts to be grateful. But once I extended that “experiment” to writing other things like goals and etc, I realised there is something “more” in the “realm of the unseen” about the power of pen.

Disclaimer: The views presented in the post solely are my personal opinion from experience; it is NOT AT ALL any scholarly view. So take the good you get and leave the rest to collect dust.

If you benefitted from this post, albeit as insignificantly as having a good time, please make dua that Allah puts barakah in all my efforts and grants me all the doors I am asking to be opened, quickly and not delayed. I am at a time constraint here. You can just say ameen in your heart and that should suffice too, biidnillah, by the permission of Allah)

Need For Speed -Day Of Arafah

Think about the last Eid ul Adha, how was it? How was that time? That phase of your life? Mine was horrible!
Now think of the time that followed since then. All the times you cried, yelled, questioned, doubted, despaired, lost hope, YET kept begging for your duas (prayers). Think of the times when you prayers have been answered- how was the feeling? How relieving was it to know that none of those pleas fell in deaf ears? Reminisce your dua journey- the roller coaster ride of faith and doubts, hope and despair, courage and fear.


Out of ALL the days that you made your duas, tomorrow will be THE BEST day to do so, and this message has been broadcasted to you From The Answerer Himself, by none other than His trusted messenger (may peace be upon Him). So there is NO loophole in it. NONE whatsoever. 

So that means every single second of tomorrow from dawn to dusk counts, for your present and for your future. If your duas have been answered so far, then tomorrow’s duas will be answered much better inshaAllah. If they are still in queue, then you need to make use of tomorrow. Ask tomorrow like never before, like nobody’s business, like nobody is watching. Just remember in the upcoming one year, a day like tomorrow is not coming again. So whatever you want and need till next Eid ul Adha, you better start making a list and ask them tomorrow. 

I remember last year my biggest tragedy hit me during Ramadan, so I couldnt do anything during Lailtul Qadr. However, I did better on Arafah day. I wonder if the eventual orchestration of events towards light and ease came from that, because whatever good happened, didnt happen before that day. Alhamdulillah, MashaAllah.

So go ahead, prepare a list and ask away all day tomorrow. And then the days that follow, keep expecting their answers.

I came across this video I really liked and highly recommend:

Quick Dua Answered On Day Of Arafah

Serendipity Happens, A Lot Like Love

Sometimes its just a thought

Sometimes its a feeling 

But sometimes, you just know it. Its unexplainable, but you just do. There isnt any other way to say it. Hold onto those.

The Light of Allah is unlike any other light, neither of the East or the West (ref Surah Nur), and so is this feeling. Lights are there to remove darkness of confusions and doubts, to bring in clarity, direction and brightness.So dont try to disturb the magic with worldly shackles of practicality, reality, possibility or logic. 

Wheather you are Sleepless in Seattle, or living At The Lakehouse, taking A Walk In The Clouds or waiting for Sweet November, just for tonight, i need you to forget every Definitely, Maybe, and just Remember This:

Serendipity Happens, A Lot Like Love…


Serendipity: The Divine Craft

If they can’t see what you see, if they fail to understand your beliefs towards your goals, if they cant see you for who you truly are, its okay.

He will show YOU, and YOU will recognise them. He never said they will.

Perhaps they havent seen any better ergo don’t know any better. Perhaps Allah has chosen you with this grandeur of “living your own tale and leaving your own legacy” so through you others get to know it all a little better. Know Him a little better. Know His Serendipities a little better.

Someone very dear to me once said, ” When we are no longer able to change the world around us, we are forced to change what is in ourselves.”  Those words never left me. And now I know why.

You were created for greatness. Don’t sell yourself short. Perhaps you are the missing piece which will change forever the way the universe presumed Serendpities. Perhaps it is through you that not only the world but the even stars and galaxies will witness that Serendipities Are A Divine Orchestra Of Perfectly Crafted Symphonies. Perhaps it is through you that He will change forever the way we love, we dream and we believe. Perhaps it is through you the world will once again live…laugh…

And most importantly,  Love ❤…

Perhaps it is through you that the world will witness once again The Perfection Of Allah. Perhaps through you the creations in their entirety will humble themselves before Him at the sheer awe at which He has crafted the nuances. Yes, all of the creations- not only the cosmos but the angels and the heavens, in adulation of Him. Through you.

Then Serendipity Happens

Allah does not limit gratitude in this verse. In His infallible wisdom He does not say if you are grateful for something He will increase you only in that and not others.

Alhamdulillah I have seen this manifest in my life lately. In my gratitude journal I express my gratitude to Allah for things which don’t even really play a role in my everyday life. But I still have been noting them down as part of my healing. What is remarkable is that out of nowhere Allah tied those blessings to my dreams and aspirations, to my goals and where I want to be.

What I am trying to say is, if you want A and B, and X is absolutely unrelated to them, still be grateful for X. If you are sincere and persistant in gratitude even when you don’t feel like, Allah might tie X with A and B, making it a means to achieve those two.

In His immense wisdom Allah knows that when we go through catastrophic situations its sometimes difficult to find goodness in that. More oftwn that not, we are unable to be grateful because our lower self becomes stubborn. That is why Allah, The Most Wise, has opened up other gates. If we can be grateful for other things He can always tie them to our particular situation.How? That is His department 🙂

He truely appreciates your effort in being grateful, albeit you might struggle to do so.He is Al Shakur. So do not underestimate the power of gratitude even for the mundane things.

Then Serendipity Happens.

Serendipity :Look Deeper

Miracles are happening within us, with us, to us and for us all the time. They might not always be dramatic like parting of the sea to make way for an escape, or water gushing out from a barren desert. But just like the One who sends them,  they are subtle and gentle in the way they take place, yet very much dominant and overpowering. As seemingly unreal the nuances might seem, they are happening very much in reality, in the realmost possible form.As ordinarily mundane and unnoticed they might appear,in reality they are nothing short of a perfectly orchestrated chain of events, progressively writing a history, leaving behind a legacy.

Yes, the miracles are happening all the time. They are happening right now- within you, with you, to you and for you.

Look deeper.