Orange (Self-Compassion) Is The New Black (Patience)

In the Quran Allah reminds us around 90 times about the lofty virtues of Sabr (Patience+Steadfastness). Its an attribute highly valued and honored by As Sabur (The Patient One) Himself. So sabr sounds great! We look up to the Prophets for their sabr. We marvel at the “sabrfull” story of how Hajar got up every time she couldn’t help her baby.We commend those with excruciatingly painful trials for their sabr.  We glorify their patience with others or their circumstances.

What about our own selves? What about having sabr with our own shortcomings within our own selves?

The fact that you cant do your 100% no matter how much you try, please be patient with your shortcomings. Be patient with your drawbacks, with the way your circumstances are affecting your worship, with your health, with your emotional and psychological challenges. Be patient with anything and everything that seems to come in the way of you reaching that pinnacle of “spirituality’, where its you, Allah and tears. The idea sounds fantastic but more often than not it might not happen. So to embrace yourself with your own shortcomings, to give yourself that pat on the back for just physically showing up, to become the voice that you want to hear, telling you that you did great- all of these inshaAllah, if Allah wills, will be part of patience. Because you are putting up with your own shortcomings without blaming yourself. Blaming is easy, taking responsibility and accepting yourself regardless requires patience, requires kindness, requires love. Most of all, it requires steadfastness coming from unconditional love and approval of yourself.

That’s what Ramadan teaches us, doesn’t it?

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In the last ten nights, we recite the above prayer, asking for Allah to absolutely ignore and wipe clean our slates of bad deeds. In essence, we are asking Him to embrace us despite our shortcomings. Then why is it so hard to practice that on our own selves?

Food for thought, isn’t it?

As usual, take any good you get and leave the rest to dust.

Also please remember me in your prayers that Allah fulfills all my requests. May He grant you the same and much more.

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It Just Is: Patience

Patience does not mean you have to act like a robot. Patience gives you full permission to act out on your frustration. Patience does not mean getting back up on your feet tirelessly, rather it means to get back up on your feet despite being tired. Patience does not demand that you stifle your sobs all the time, because you are asked to follow someone who went blind from grieving the loss of his child. In fact, if it helps to release the pressure from inside your chest, you can roll on the floor crying your eyes out, almost vomitting out all your internal organs, passing out from an all time low blood pressure, having no idea what to do, how to do, how to be in the state you just found yourself in, and still do whatever much, however much, you are able to do. I mean it, whatever much. Sometimes, taking the next set of breathe is included in that “much” as well. Yes, patience also means refraining from stopping your heart so as to escape that pounding, but having the thought does not make you impatient. Because it did not make Maryam impatient.

Patience is different for everyone. But the theme is the same. Whatever you are doing, however much you are doing, are all part of patience. Because you are doing the bext that YOU KNOW how to, based on who YOU ARE. Allow yourself to believe that you are patient. Just because your cheeks are stained with mascara doesnt mean you are not. Patience has no rules, you dont take a “Patience 101” in freshmen year to learn how to master it. It just is.