Day 16: Ramadan Reflections- A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Disclaimer: Contains tiny bit of poignant hues

I was really hoping I would be catching some sleep that night. I didnt want the night to turn out like this. I wished I didnt know about it, I wished I could unhear what I heard. I honestly wished I could travel to the world above the skies for couple days, perhaps the weekend, and come back on Monday morning. Take the weekend off- because in my world, taking the weekend off is pretty analogous to that.

After I hung up on the phone, I sat on my bed, trying to make sense of what or how am i supposed to feel. Nowadays it doesnt even hurt anymore, I guess the sensations in the nerves have wilted out over the years. It hurts so bad it doesnt hurt anymore. I still needed to know what am I supposed to feel- because the darkness seemed to trump the faint light that was struggling to peek. And I wanted that light, albeit small, its much better than the mostrous darkness. The darkness is like a canine, a hound may be- just the presence of it sometimes is ominous.

As much as my sinister lower self tried to let itself fall prey on the sadistic, merciless predator, my corresponding meek, vulnerable, still wanting to live and not leave part saw something. Something that no matter how much my ego tried to dismiss saying the tragedy is greater- failed.

The Moon. The moon and I have come pretty close since last winter. I like it. When I am alone among the 6bn people in the world, the moon joins me and we silently glorify our Creator everynight. 

In the Quran, Allah says He is 

Everything that is illuminating- sun, moon, star- all are from Allah’s Light.Even in that dark, ruthless night, the Moon was there with me, and through it, Light of My Creator. Even in that turmoil of emotions, amidst the chaos of my raging heart, I noticed how beautiful the Light was. Soft, subtle, silently illuminating the very area where I pray. For a moment my thoughts drifted to the moon, that Light, those memories. I remembered my dream dua- that of my dream home, where I pray to Allah in the depths of the night, with the moonlight filling up my entire bedroom, falling right on my bed. The very bed where I was sitting that time and thinking about it all.

So I got up, gently pulled the blanket aside, and joined the moon. Together we silently glorified Our Creator, and as I prayed for my dream life, I hope it joined me too.

Perhaps thats why the night was so dark, thats why I had to hear what I hear, went through the incidents of that night. So I could see that the only pretty thing that night was the moon.

And my dream duas.

Day 10:Ramadan Reflections(Quran)- Twists In Faith


If you are struggling with faith, losing hope in dua, you can ask Allah to increase your faith through fulfilling your dua. Prophet Ibrahim did it, and Allah in His infinite wisdom actually recorded it in the Quran to exemplify for you. It won’t make you any less of a believer.


Even for Prophet Musa’s mother (peace be upon them both), Allah says Musa had to return home to his mother, (despite all the faith and strength Allah gave her to firm her heart), for her to have the ultimate comfort. Allah knows us- He knows that despite our faith tawaqqul at the end of the day we need to have the things we so dearly desire, for us to truly absorb the realisation that Allah’s promise is true.  

Therefore ask Allah to fulfill your desires, so just like her, you would also be of those who truly know that His promise is true. Because as Allah says, most of the people don’t. 

It doesn’t have to be so hard. We think everything worth achieving must be hard, with twists and turns. We made that rule, Allah didn’t.He created us, and He knows He didn’t create all five fingers equally.

Ramadan DUAries= (DUA+Stories):Day4- “Definitely, Maybe”!

My cousin had an interview today for a govt job which honestly no matter how much I encouraged her i wasnt sure she would be getting… I made dua for her last couple days even yesterday in tahajjud… just a while ago in sujood during dhuhr i dont know why i just made a sincere heartfelt dua for her i really wanted this job for her… that very moment she texted me that she got that job… 
Even for her marriage i remember I made this really heartfelt dua and her marriage was fixed within a month or two. I wanted for her exactly what I would want for myself . The prophet (peace be upon him) said a true believer is one who wishes for his brother/sister what s/he would want for themselves. Its not that I am particularly good or worthy, I am no saint or angel. Rather its about the promise of messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) that the dua of a muslim in absence of his brother is surely accepted. Its about truly wanting for someone what you would want for yourself, stepping in their shoes and feeling that emotion as you make dua. Dua is an art.


I think the reason its easy to make dua for others because we are less attached to the outcome. For ourselves we worry a lot about the outcome but for others we just make dua, not wondering if it will get answered or not. We dont obsess on the result as much. That truely affects the answer.

I think the reason it is easy to make dua for others is even though we feel the emotion, we are less attached to the outcome or obsess less on the result when the dua is for someone else. Whereas for ourselves, there is too much “Definitely, Maybe” involved. That is understandable, because we are humans and its part of our how we are created. We can’t defy or deny that. We worry a lot on the outcome when it is about ourselves and that affects the outcome.

So go ahead and trade dua this Ramadan. Make dua for others and ask them to make for you (of course you must make dua too you cant rely solely on others).Ask Allah to send you people who will sincerely ask for you, and not do a lip service with some fancy words. 

If you still find noone, well then you know the drill- make dua sincerely for others because angels are saying “ameen may you be granted the same” after every dua everytime you make. You cant make a human being make dua for you so many times but most definitely the angels appointed at your service by Allah are programed to do so. So use it to your advantage. Be smart!!!

Serendipity:From Snow To Spring of Showers

I started my Serendipity Series towards the end of Winter- in the last remaining days of  snow. Winter is beautiful- or may be this winter I actually was blessed with the ability to actually feel that beauty. This winter came with promises for a life I never knew existed- much to my own surprise, for the better. I learnt to smile this winter, I learnt to be grateful, but most importantly, I learnt one or two things about believing.

Believing- yes. This winter taught me what it means to ” Be Living”, beyond just a set of breathes and days culminating into an abyss of despair. It gave me a purpose, a reason to get up and marvel at the beauty of His Divine Creations. With every flake of snow falling soundlessly, I felt myself slowly changing,evolving and rising. Rising to be the person I never was. This winter taught me strength,and as I spent the long nights marvelling at the magnificent beauty of the moon and the snow, I learnt that the morning was near. The daybreak was nearer than I thought.


As the winter prepared to bid adieus for this season, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of poignancy creep in. To me, this winter was the best thing that happened after what seemed like an eternity. I was scared that perhaps spring will be harsh, despite its lushy green foliages. But winter was loving enough to quelch my fears. As it parted, it left behind for me a gift which forever changed the life I was living. It left behind for me a season full of promises, joy, unprecented amount of gratitude, and faith. 

Yes, winter left behind for me a Spring of Serendipities. Because more often that not, Serendipities Do Happen.


I started my serendipity series when it used to snow. As I continue with my journey and hence this series, its not snowing anymore now.

Its showering. Winter made sure to leave behind a spring of showers for me.



Thank you God.

Efforts Are Basically Placebos


When we pray for something, we are required to take actions as well towards achieving it. There is no free lunch in reality.

But what is important is that we realise that our actions really do NOT generate/ guarantee results. Results come from The All Able, from God. He uses our efforts to manifest results. Remember that time when you had a really horrible exam but your passed with flying colors, and you absolutely have no idea how it happened? Well there is your proof. He excused your poor performace and gave you a better result from Him, as a a token of His love.

So why then, do we need to work? Why can’t God just give us everything like that? Well it is because of our own accountability and ownership. It is for the same reason your parents let you work to earn your tuition for college, albeit they are very much able to afford it. It is to teach us accountability and take ownership of our achievements.

When Maryam (peace be upon her) was in the pain of delivery, she was asked to shake the tree above her so it would shed fruits for her to eat. Imagine how vigoriously could actually shake it? My guess she probably was barely able to touch the huge tree trunk, let alone shake it. But she did whatever she could, and the tree bowed down to reach her. 

So your efforts are subjective at times. Just because you can’t exert as much effort like others does NOT mean your doors to achievements are closed. Sincerity is all that counts. God does not need your efforts to give you. Your efforts are the best you can do in your particular situation, so when you achieve your success, you feel the confidence in seeing the fruits if your labor. It is all for you. 


So stop fretting about not being as good as others. Maryam wasn’t. So the tree came to her. It can come to you too, Because just like her, you too are no prophet.

Everyday believers like you and me are not excluded from the Divine Miracles.

Being A Leader Is Your God Given Responsibility

Allah has given you certain talents. So it is your God given responsibility to use them to the best of your ability. If that means you have to step up and take charge, demonstrate leadership, apply for that promotion, pursue that dream, then so be it. That is not arrogance. That is being confident of the abilities He has entrusted you with. By virtue of the story of Prophet Yusuf and how he saved Egypt, Allah teaches us in the Quran two qualities of a leader:

1) Know what you are doing

2)Sincerity- guard and nurture the talent Allah has given you

Prophet Yusuf stepped to up to take leadership of the treasury in Egypt not because of his obsession to the title, but because He wanted to save lives. His focus was on the greater benefit of humanity. That is true leadership- leadership for the sake of helping people, not for its own sake.

If you are someone who naturally takes charge, someone who other people look up to, they take your suggestions before they order something at the restaurant or buy a car, house, make an investment, then hold on to it. Use it for service of others.

( Taken from Nouman Ali Khan’s lecture on leadership)