P.S. I Am Sorry: A Pristine Forgiveness

We all know that seeking forgiveness of Allah (Istighfar) is a huge gateway to relief by having our prayers answered, and the chief prayer for forgiveness is Sayyidul Istighfar. (For details about benefits of Istighfar or know more about Sayyidul Istighfar virtues please refer to scholarly sources.)

I have been reciting this prayer for a while, and over the time I have realised that this prayer has taught me about forgiveness what no one or nothing else taught before. Whenever I have to forgiveness, this prayer sums up everything I feel like telling Allah ( I am someone who always has to speak to Allah in my own words, otherwise I feel incomplete). But this is the only prayer which does that job for me. So I thought I will share how it speaks to me, perhaps it might benefit those who are looking to have their prayers answered. It might add little more sincerity to your prayer, so forgiveness becomes more of a conversation than a plain chant or chain of thoughts about how ” sinful you are”. (The words in Italics are basically what I mean when I recite the respective lines in Bold).

 

O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshiped except You,You created me and I am Your servant

” Oh Allah, you know how I am, because You created me. You created my mind, my brain cells ( our chain of thoughts come from brain cells firing them), my personality, my weaknesses. There is nothing about me or my evils of my lower sinister self that are hidden to you, because you have created every flesh, every cell of every fiber of my being. So you know how I am. I cant help thinking certain things, feel certain emotions; I cant stop worrying  about the future or have those doubtful thoughts, because they are part of my creation from you, Oh my Creator.

and I abide to Your covenant and promise [to honor it] as best I can,

Despite all my weaknesses and limitations, I do whatever I can, however I can. My weaknesses weigh me down, bring me down, but I still try to climb up. They bring me down 3 cubits but I am able to climb back up only 1, before they again pull me down. But still I do it, because that is the best I can, and you know it because you created me and my potential.

I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed

But I am not proud of my weaknesses. Even though they are part of me and I have no immunity against sinning, I am not proud of them at all. I want to do better so I am asking you to protect me from them.

I acknowledge Your favor upon me

And I am aware of the blessings You shower upon me despite my sins, my mistakes, my weaknesses and limitations. I am aware that you do understand my situation and I thank you for understanding that my sins don’t necessarily make me evil.

and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me,

So therefore forgive me.”

for verily none can forgive sins except You.

 

Hope this will help open the doors you have been desperately knocking. Please take only the good that you get and leave the rest to collect dust.

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A Walk In The Clouds: Al Khaleeq (The Creator)

That moment when you think about someone and they call you? When you just finished making dua for someone only to receive a text from them? When you make it a point to call her today and then find her missed calls on your phone?


Allah’s creations are not limited to only living creatures. Our stories, the events that happen to us, albeit seemingly mundane, are all part of Allah’s creations. The feelings in our hearts are His creations too, just like the chain of events that lead us to have those feelings.

When you think or pray for someone, and then s/he pops up absolutely randomly, there is a greater game that is being played here. The sincerity in the feeling or the genuine yearning in that prayer is loved by Allah so much, that right that moment He sends the person your way. Or Allah loves them so much He wants you to think about them as well, hence you think about them, make it a point to call them. Or perhaps you were so sincere in the way you asked Allah for them, that Allah’s heart just went out to you and He orchestrated the events right that moment, such as to sort of give you a sign that yes He is hearing you. Its kind of like an “application for your desire recieved” notification from Allah, while He processes that application. These signs give you the next steps you need to take, which involves fully soaking yourself in these signs and increase your gratitude for being heard above the heavens. 


Remember the first verse I quoted above: the creations are both in the earth and skies. The one that happens in the earth is that we see, but the commandment comes from the skies. Your sincere feelings penetrate the skies and reach Allah, He mentions you up there (Allah says: If He makes mention of me, I make mention of Him), and then out of His pouring love for you, He gives you signs to sustain you in the interim. To update you that your application is in process. Now thats what Al Khaleeq does, He creates. Not only you and me, but He creates US.


Everything that is happening is planned and created by Allah, sent to this world for execution, to be continued in the hereafter in Paradise, inshaAllah. Allah is far above to throw anything unplanned or randomly at your way. Every move is meticulously calculated to the finest detail, afterall He has taken the responsibility of everything upon Himself, He is that good in His job. SubhanAllah (Glory is for Allah)!

The Psychology Of Rising Above

The way we act are governed by the preconceived notions of our mind. Claiming to know ourselves to the core, we SOMETIMES choose to believe certain things as far as our potentials are concerned. 

When you read the lines above, what are you thinking? Are you guilt tripping yourself because you do not aim high enough or you are taking in inspiration to aim higher? That answer there itself is the key psychology you need to identify and either work on or hold onto.


Because your thoughts dictate your actions, you can choose. Thoughts are nothing but energy. We all know from those afternoon naps in Physics class that energy cant be created or destroyed rather they can only be transformed. So I agree when you say you cant control your thoughts because you are not supposed to. But you can most definitely gear them into what gives you jitters of hope and expectations.


However, even after all these self help serums, the truth remains that some of us are limited in our potentials. We are not extraordinary, we are not gifted, we cant do what others can. We struggle but we cant go any beyond. Our capabilities are limited. We were just not born with them. What about us? 

Remember this. We are creations, we are not The Creator. So we cant do anything about what we do not have. But God can. If there is something you want in the creation of yourself but you don’t have, your Creator can create it for you. If you dont have the intelligence, you dont have the talent, you dont have the mental or psychological stamina, you dont have the faith, you dont have the courage, you dont have the resources, the support, whatever it is you do not have, He can create for you, and He can tailor it, customize it,personalize it suited to your individual comfort and ease. There is a reason He has named Himself The Creator, and if you look deeper, you will realise He has not put a limit in His ability to create.


If you can think like this, if you can make attempts based on these thoughts, you will automatically amp up your game. Because in the process of allowing these thoughts to creep in, you have already broken yourself from the shackes of fear. Yes, it was fear and self doubt that was holding you back. And if you didnt realise, more often than not, they were pretending to be in your favor. Pretending.