This Ramadan, Weave Into The Labyrinth of Love

A/N: Few parts of this post has been inspired from Grey’s Anatomy. But this post is ENTIRELY a personal reflection and conveys NO scholarly guidance whatsover. Please take any good that you get and leave the rest to collect dust.

When Ramadan arrives, you will reach out to others to ask for forgiveness, the angels will ask for forgiveness for you, you will worship Allah the whole month to attain His Forgiveness. But there is someone else’s forgiveness you don’t want to miss out on.

Your own self.

This Ramadan,

Forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself for everything you have done.

Forgive yourself for messing up again.

Forgive yourself for losing it despite promising yourself you won’t.

Forgive yourself for seeing it again, for saying it again, for listening to it again.

Forgive yourself not taking good care of yourself.

Forgive yourself for hating yourself.

Forgive yourself for every unkind gestures you have made to yourself.

Forgive yourself for every hateful, hurtful, atrocious incessant chatters of the mind.

Forgive yourself for every unkind, every self deprecating, every self loathing remarks you have said to yourself.

Forgive yourself for not being good enough for yourself.

Forgive yourself for falling short of your own standards.

Forgive yourself for falling short of Allah’s standards, for without the shadow of a doubt, He has (God willing, inshaAllah).

Forgive yourself, not because you are deserving of it, but because you can. Because you have the ability to. Because your virtues are greater than your vices.

Forgive yourself just enough to remind yourself  of what you are missing,

Forgive yourself so you can remind yourself that you are a simple, ordinary human being, created and meant to live in a world of extraordinary difficulties. Forgive yourself because You were created a human, so no one expects you to walk on this earth as an angel.

Forgive yourself, because even though you might have done terrible things, that does NOT in any way, shape or form mean you are a terrible person.

Forgive yourself because the Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “By Him in whose hand is my soul, if you did not sin Allah would replace you with people who would sin and they would seek the forgiveness of Allah and He would forgive them.”(Source: Sahih Muslim 2749).

Forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself, so for the first time in your life, you can feel the warmth of your own love. The love which has sustained so many around you, brought sunshine in the darkest of days, radiated hopes and faith right in the middle of despair, let that love consume you. Let your love, your kindness, your compassion for no one but yourself fill every atom of your soul, because you cant expect to receive love if you are incapable of loving your own self first.

Forgive yourself, so you can love yourself, so you can heal yourself. Healing love is powerful, because that’s when you make discoveries, that’s when you bring changes, that’s when Allah opens doors, because that’s when you are ready to receive . Your heart  and soul are aligned and synced, they have moved past the past, ready to receive from His unlimited bounty.

Forgive yourself, and instead show mercy to yourself.

Forgive yourself. Take all that pain, all that agony, all those memories, and  turn them into possibilities. Turn them into strength, into unwavering faith and unfaltering hope. Turn them into courage, courage to get up one more time, and then once more, until the doors finally open.

Forgive yourself, because you matter, because your forgiveness matters. It matters to your heart, to your soul, to your entire being, to your ultimate existence as someone Allah has lovingly created with His own Hands.

Buy yourself that favorite outfit, treat yourself that favorite flavor of coffee, savor yourself that foot massage, make that decision, take that step, whatever you need to do to amend your relationship with yourself, do it. Begin Ramadan on a different note this year. Begin with compassion, with kindness, with gentleness, to no one but to yourself.

Yes you, the one who is in His eyes.

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P.S. I Am Sorry: A Pristine Forgiveness

We all know that seeking forgiveness of Allah (Istighfar) is a huge gateway to relief by having our prayers answered, and the chief prayer for forgiveness is Sayyidul Istighfar. (For details about benefits of Istighfar or know more about Sayyidul Istighfar virtues please refer to scholarly sources.)

I have been reciting this prayer for a while, and over the time I have realised that this prayer has taught me about forgiveness what no one or nothing else taught before. Whenever I have to forgiveness, this prayer sums up everything I feel like telling Allah ( I am someone who always has to speak to Allah in my own words, otherwise I feel incomplete). But this is the only prayer which does that job for me. So I thought I will share how it speaks to me, perhaps it might benefit those who are looking to have their prayers answered. It might add little more sincerity to your prayer, so forgiveness becomes more of a conversation than a plain chant or chain of thoughts about how ” sinful you are”. (The words in Italics are basically what I mean when I recite the respective lines in Bold).

O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshiped except You,You created me and I am Your servant

” Oh Allah, you know how I am, because You created me. You created my mind, my brain cells ( our chain of thoughts come from brain cells firing them), my personality, my weaknesses. There is nothing about me or my evils of my lower sinister self that are hidden to you, because you have created every flesh, every cell of every fiber of my being. So you know how I am. I cant help thinking certain things, feel certain emotions; I cant stop worrying  about the future or have those doubtful thoughts, because they are part of my creation from you, Oh my Creator.

and I abide to Your covenant and promise [to honor it] as best I can,

Despite all my weaknesses and limitations, I do whatever I can, however I can. My weaknesses weigh me down, bring me down, but I still try to climb up. They bring me down 3 cubits but I am able to climb back up only 1, before they again pull me down. But still I do it, because that is the best I can, and you know it because you created me and my potential.

I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed

But I am not proud of my weaknesses. Even though they are part of me and I have no immunity against sinning, I am not proud of them at all. I want to do better so I am asking you to protect me from them.

I acknowledge Your favor upon me

And I am aware of the blessings You shower upon me despite my sins, my mistakes, my weaknesses and limitations. I am aware that you do understand my situation and I thank you for understanding that my sins don’t necessarily make me evil.

and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me,

So therefore forgive me.”

for verily none can forgive sins except You.

A/N: This is merely a personal reflection and NOT to be referred to as an alternative to scholarly works.

I hope and sincerely pray that this will help open the doors you have been desperately knocking. Please take only the good that you get and leave the rest to collect dust.

Remember me in your prayers as well, that Allah opens my doors that I have been knocking. I could really use your prayers, by the permission of Allah. ❤️

Reflections On Istighfar (To Have Duas Answered)

We have all pretty much heard about the above saying of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). A lot of us engage in daily dhikr (counting beads) through istighfar to have our duas answered. Even the Quran has numerous verses which talk about the benefits of asking for forgiveness- both worldly and for the hereafter.Benefits of istighfar are widespread all over the internet, alhamdulillah, in case you want to know more about it.
The idea is basically to have our sins forgiven. Most definitely the first way to do so is to do istighfar, verbally asking Allah to overlook our shortcomings. But thats not the only way. There are plenty of other deeds which forgive our sins as well. For eg, dua after eating, doing wudu, dua after leaving washroom, saying subhanAllah, alhamdulillah and allahu akbar 33 times each followed by la ilala illallahu…shayin qadeer once. ( I am skipping details because this post is really not about knowledge, please refer to more scholarly platforms for in depth knowledge of duas and dhikrs with their virtues.) 

So when we are tying our intention to do as much istighfar as possible so to have our doors opened, we should focus on all those things which forgive our sins, along with doing the istighfar per se. We will notice so many mundane things we do already contain the virtue of having sins forgiven, we just need to have the intention and presence of mind. Every good that we do, we can make the intention to have some of our sins forgiven for that. 

Therefore, if you are looking to do lots of istighfar, look out for all the deeds which have the reward of having sins forgiven. You should get them in the books of hadith or other scholarly resources, inshaAllah.

This post is actually inspired from a lecture of Mufti Menk. 

Take the good that you get, and leave the rest to collect dust.

Allah Has Honored You. And Every Human Being

Unquestionably, We have honored all children of Adam (17:70).

As Muslims we believe that mankind was created from Adam and Hawa (Eve), may peace be upon them. Adam AS was the first creation of Allah, and then his wife Hawa. So they are parents of the entire mankind, and that makes every human being, despite culture and faith,  brothers in humanity.In the verse above, Allah says He has honored all children of Adam, and there is absolutely no question about it. Therefore we can not take away the dignity and honor Allah has given to another fellow human being. Of course, the honors vary in ranks. Even among Muslims, the one who struggles hard for Allah has more honor in His sight. But the point remains that we don’t trash talk or dismiss other people simply because of their values.

You might have families and loved ones who have not entered Islam yet. But that does not mean that Allah has written them off. They are also part of this verse. . Even the most beloved uncle of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), named Abu Talib,who was his only guardian on this earth, was not a muslim. Yet Abu Talib helped the Prophet (peace be upon him) spread the message of Islam. The Prophet (peace be upon him) loved his uncle and grieved immensely when his uncle passed away. His uncle was not a muslim yet Allah did honor him by including him in the life of His favorite messenger(peace be upon him).

This verse also means that we need to honor ourselves, give ourselves the respect we deserve. If you are trying hard but you keep slipping, please, don’t criticize and demoralize yourself. Appreciate yourself for the efforts, don’t condemn for the results. Accept that a mistake had been made. A bad deed does not make you a bad person. Allah created us as humans so we do not get to walk on this earth as angels. That is why He gave us a higher honor than angels, because unlike angels we are prone to make mistakes and slide off. But what makes us believers is that we do not give up, neither on ourselves nor on Allah’s  incessant forgiveness.

…mankind was created weak (Quran 4:28)

We continue to ask Allah for forgiveness and keep on trying, albeit we slip. Allah has promised us that as long as we keep returning to Him He will continue to forgive us. For this reason He has even named Himself Al Gaffar-The One who forgives continuously, even when we do not ask. He knows we will make mistakes and fall short of our obedience to Him, time and again. So this name is befitting in that we turn to Allah for forgiveness repeatedly.

In the end, all honor belongs to Allah only, because He is the Owner of Majesty and Honor (Dhul Jalal E Wal Ikram).All honor is from Him, so when He honors someone, we honor them as well.