Disclaimer: This post is NOT about pregnancy. I just borrowed the title.
Allah gives us what we want, sometimes even word for word, but not necessarily the way we want it.
Think of this little incident that happened today. Since I am not praying this week, I was feeling little restless. The best days of the year are here, and not feeling tranquil enough to devotedly remember Allah when every good deed is most beloved to Him was something that was really bothering me. So I requested a friend to pray for me, that I am able to peacefully do my dhikrs and duas. I dont start praying till another two days.
Or atleast I thought. I am never wrong about my days, I always keep a count so I know when I start praying.Just a while after I told her to pray for me, I realised that for some odd reason this month my calculation went wrong. It is actually today I start praying. And as I prayed, I felt that serenity as if I came back home. Alhamdulillah.
When I asked my friend to make dua for me, I was expecting (and thats what she made dua for) to feel calm and settled in my heart and mind, so I can sit in my prayer mat for hours and to my tasbeeh, dhikr and duas. But surprisingly, Allah gave me exactly what I wanted- peacefully pray and worship Him, but now how I wanted. He ordained that I start praying today, and orchestrated the events perfectly that today turned out to be the day when it so happens. I never thought today would be the I start praying, and hence my expectations were based on what I knew, not what I didnt know.
This is something I have been reflecting on for a while. Sometimes we become so obstinate, so headstrong in the things that we ask for, that we focus more on the HOWs than the WHATs. Our job is to pray for the WHATs, we are in no position to tell Allah HOW to give those WHATs to us. We cant tell Him how to do His job, we cant dictate the terms as to how we want our prayers delivered to us. For when we do so, more often than not, we stand in the way of getting our prayers answered.
Be very specific about WHAT you want, just not HOW you want it. Reminder to myself first, because I sometimes obsess too much on the process rather than the goal.
Take to good and leave the rest to collect dust.