Serendipity Happens, A Lot Like Love

Sometimes its just a thought

Sometimes its a feeling 

But sometimes, you just know it. Its unexplainable, but you just do. There isnt any other way to say it. Hold onto those.

The Light of Allah is unlike any other light, neither of the East or the West (ref Surah Nur), and so is this feeling. Lights are there to remove darkness of confusions and doubts, to bring in clarity, direction and brightness.So dont try to disturb the magic with worldly shackles of practicality, reality, possibility or logic. 

Wheather you are Sleepless in Seattle, or living At The Lakehouse, taking A Walk In The Clouds or waiting for Sweet November, just for tonight, i need you to forget every Definitely, Maybe, and just Remember This:

Serendipity Happens, A Lot Like Love…


A Walk In The Clouds: Al Khaleeq (The Creator)

That moment when you think about someone and they call you? When you just finished making dua for someone only to receive a text from them? When you make it a point to call her today and then find her missed calls on your phone?


Allah’s creations are not limited to only living creatures. Our stories, the events that happen to us, albeit seemingly mundane, are all part of Allah’s creations. The feelings in our hearts are His creations too, just like the chain of events that lead us to have those feelings.

When you think or pray for someone, and then s/he pops up absolutely randomly, there is a greater game that is being played here. The sincerity in the feeling or the genuine yearning in that prayer is loved by Allah so much, that right that moment He sends the person your way. Or Allah loves them so much He wants you to think about them as well, hence you think about them, make it a point to call them. Or perhaps you were so sincere in the way you asked Allah for them, that Allah’s heart just went out to you and He orchestrated the events right that moment, such as to sort of give you a sign that yes He is hearing you. Its kind of like an “application for your desire recieved” notification from Allah, while He processes that application. These signs give you the next steps you need to take, which involves fully soaking yourself in these signs and increase your gratitude for being heard above the heavens. 


Remember the first verse I quoted above: the creations are both in the earth and skies. The one that happens in the earth is that we see, but the commandment comes from the skies. Your sincere feelings penetrate the skies and reach Allah, He mentions you up there (Allah says: If He makes mention of me, I make mention of Him), and then out of His pouring love for you, He gives you signs to sustain you in the interim. To update you that your application is in process. Now thats what Al Khaleeq does, He creates. Not only you and me, but He creates US.


Everything that is happening is planned and created by Allah, sent to this world for execution, to be continued in the hereafter in Paradise, inshaAllah. Allah is far above to throw anything unplanned or randomly at your way. Every move is meticulously calculated to the finest detail, afterall He has taken the responsibility of everything upon Himself, He is that good in His job. SubhanAllah (Glory is for Allah)!

No Ordinary Shephard:Al Waasi (The All Encompassing)

The very special people we hear about, the sainty, holy, who have the special gifts of Allah, who receive special privileges from Allah, who Allah chose among many? Who are praised in the Quran like Moses’ mother or are held akin to the highest of the Sahabahs (companions of the Prophet, may peace be upon them all) like Abu Bakr and Umar? They are not only ordinary, Jane/John Doe believers, they are also flawed, just like you and me. They skip prayers, they lie, they do improper acts, show ingratitude, lets just say pretty flawed people. But still Allah gives them gifts which sometimes the very righteous worshippers dont get.


I used to think for Allah to send His Divine inspiration in the heart of a “mumin”(true believer” like mother of Moses ( her name is Yokabeth in the Hebrew Scriptures, which means tough hearted), the person has to have the higest of piety and extreme level of spirituality. I was wrong. I saw it happen exact same way , but to someone who was anything but that when it happened. In fact even long after Allah inspired her to do something like throwing her baby in the water, she had no idea what happened. Because she cant remember.(Details of the story are withheld for the sake of privacy). This person was nowhere close to a believer, committed lots of crimes her whole life, I cant even say she had a clean heart. None. But Allah turned her whole life upside down with just that Ilham.

In another case, someone who was battling a rough time in her life attempted to take her life. The exact moment when she attempted, one person’s thought came to her mind so her hand stopped. That very moment, that person, just knew it, felt that she was in danger. Yet, none of them were any pious. “We just knew it in our heart, felt it”- they say.

Another person I know, pretty much similar. “Sinner” as she describes herself. But has a gift where she can feel certain things in her heart, about people. People she doesnt know too well, but Allah tells her that they need help, or that something is happening to them, even when she is battling her own crisis. Sahabas like Abu Bakr and Ali, along with some of the supreme scholars of Islam had these abilities.

Another person, struggling to hold onto basic faith, every other day her faith trumps down (just like most of us), yet she says Allah gave her “Inner Vision” (Bassirah) so she gets intuition about people. She uses them to avoid risky dealings with people.

Then you have people who have dreams of the Prophets- someone who is struggling to hold onto basic belief in Allah, yet gets such dreams wheras people practicing all their lives dont get them sometimes.

Allah chooses special people in many ways- ways which are above and beyond praying 5times a day, doing hijab, having the right belief. We think the blessed, righteous lived during the times of the prophets and in today’s time, we probably wont meet any because such saintly people wont ever come in the gatherings where we go. You see its never about us being particularly good or worthy. In Surah Kahf Allah says Quran is timeless, so in a way that means these miraculous legacies that Allah gives people, are also timeless. Just because today’s world is corrupted does not mean Allah stops sending His Wonders among us. Allah is Extraordinary, and will always be; we are not and we will never be.

So just because you and I are not a good believers, does NOT mean we are exempted from special treatment from Allah. Sometimes we toss away our blessings because its too good to be true. Because we are NOT good enough for Allah’s special attention.

Allah is Al Waasi (The All Encompassing). He encompasses our limitations with His Greatness. 

Its not about how imperfect we are.

Its about how Absolute Allah is.

It always is, has been, and will be.

A Million Ways To Live: Al Muhyi (The One Who Gives Life)


The dreams that you have sketched in your duas, the visuals that you have created in your mind about how that “moment” would look like, the imaginary rehearsal sessions in your washroom where you prepare for the “feeling” lest you dont feel silly- we all have these dreams. Getting that degree or that job, that dream marriage, that dream family, driving your dream car or unpacking at your dream home; all of us have so many things we want, wish for, ask for. 
The wishes and duas we voice out to Allah are like the statues made of clay. In our limited capacities, thats the closest we can be to the reality we want to have. So we need Al Muhyi to give life to those statue like dreams, by making them real in flesh and blood. So ask Al Muhyi to give life to your duas by manifesting them in reality.

What else? 

That moment when you see something good happening, either a little flicker of hope or a huge milestone altogether.You finally have some light, some good is happening in your life may be? Even if nothing changes externally, you just feel motivated, you feel grateful, you feel lighter, may be from pouring your heart out to Allah. That feeling is also Al Muhyi giving life to your dead heart. You thought your heart will never feel anything except for the stress, the despair, the gloom and doom. You thought your heart was just a flesh of muscles which pumps blood, it has no other jobs as far feeling is concerned, because thats how dead you feel. Al Muhyi gives life to that dead heart by making it alive again. You suddenly want to live not survive,  feel like you are alive, not only be alive- thats all Al Muhyi.

Elbow Room Inside The Whale

We feel like we arent doing them pretty- our prayers and worship. Especially when things go south and things are hard- we cant focus. Physical wellbeing, confidence in our relation with Allah, mental state (brain fog among others)- it feels like the tides are against us in everyway.  We google and ask around for special prayers or acts of worship, try out best to do everything so to keep to stones unturned as far as our part is concerned- but deep down we feel unsatiated because they are not good enough. The words are broken just like us, and since our thoughts are clouded by the seemingly insurmountable problems, we cant even focus on what we are asking of Allah.

But isnt that what happened with Prophet Yunus as well? Inside the very acidic belly of the whale, deep under the ocean in that stormy night- I bet his duas were anything but pretty. Just because he was a prophet doesnt mean he was a superhuman. He had flesh and blood like you and me. He must have been scared to death, worried sick, claustrophic may be, among so many other things. Its humanly not possible for him to make pretty duas with utmost concentration and focus the whole time. Because as we know from the story that he was very sick by the time he came out, the acids from the whale severly affected his health. So as his health kept getting worse, I wonder if there were some times when he even lost conciousness inside there. But he did whatever he could- he didnt worry or fret about how his duas were. Because his dua already acknowledged the fact that Allah is the One who is Perfect, devoid of flaws,not us. His Divine Perfection is more than enough to envelop of lack of perfection. Allah loves us more than our mother- so which mother cares if her child used the best way to address her or call her when h/she is just hanging by a thread of survive? We have been created with a brain whose job is to think, and worry when things look worrisome. Its natual and part of the way Allah created us. So yes your prayers, rituals, concentrations wont be pretty. And shaitaan will take full advantage of this into demotivating you because whats the point, your concentration isnt there. Shaitaan cant make you give up altogether so it will trick you into your own game. It will keep whispering till you are tired and demotivated enough at your own “worthlessness” to the point that you start believing it too. You keep focussing so much on the fact that dua made without focus isnt answered, that you forget that the Allah who will answer you is also the same Being who made you with these limitations in the first place; so He isnt expecting you to act like a superhuman. And then there are the youtube videos of scholars condemning you for lack of concentration which further sits on your head. I wish I had someone to teach me this as I write them, I would have been saved of a lot of self sabotaging self talks.

Allah doesnt need our prayers to help us, let alone them being pretty or not. We pray so we feel like we did something. So please give yourself some elbow room. Allah asks us to be gentle to His creations which by the way begins with you- your state of mind. Your youtube or google teacher or even your so called “sense of sincerity” sometimes actually works against you. Trying to be too good or too perfect isnt healthy either, especially when its unnatural to be so. Allah will answer your dua even when you are incapable of making it, inshaAllah.

Prophet Yunus understood this. You should too.

The Devil’s Advocate

Many of us when a misfortune happens attribute to evil eye. In common English it basically means something that was good before got jinxed- health, wealth, relationships, happiness, achievement etc. And it is true- evil eye and black magic are real and we get affected by it a lot. Even our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was affected by it and Allah sent some Qurannic revelations to cure him (and hence us to seek protection from) of it.

But I would like to argue with a certain way of thoughts, whereby EVERYTHING that goes wrong is because either you are bewitched (someone did a black magic to you) or cast evil eye to your goodness. In fact I would like to believe that more often than not, the unfortunate things that happen to us are from Allah- and they were meant to happen to us for reasons we can or cant explain. Attributing every misfortunes and claiming to be a victim of evil eye even when one so much as sneezes, according to me (no fatwa here, just a personal muse) is sort of shirk (associating partners to Allah).Because one of the core fundamentals of our faith is to believe in the Divine Predestination (Qadr)- both good and bad. In the Quran Allah talks about misfortunes as “musibaah”-and praises those who actually acknowledge that it is from Allah, targeted specifically to happen to them. As a result they say,”To Allah we belong and to Him is our return”- thereby declaring that we (i.e our lives- the things that happen to us) come from Allah and only He can take them back; they begin from Him and end back to Him. So living in a glass house by attributing our difficulties to being bewitched or casted evil eye upon,  sometimes we are denying that perhaps it happened because Allah willed it to happen, not some black magic whatsoever.

We give the devil too much recognition for its evils.  Afterall thats what it always does-pretending to be God, disguising as the so called “conscience”, whereas more often than not, its that self doubt/ lack of understanding talking. The conscience needs to know better to be able to distinguish between the two. We need to know better.

Take any good you might find, and leave the rest to collect dust.

Day 16: Ramadan Reflections- A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Disclaimer: Contains tiny bit of poignant hues

I was really hoping I would be catching some sleep that night. I didnt want the night to turn out like this. I wished I didnt know about it, I wished I could unhear what I heard. I honestly wished I could travel to the world above the skies for couple days, perhaps the weekend, and come back on Monday morning. Take the weekend off- because in my world, taking the weekend off is pretty analogous to that.

After I hung up on the phone, I sat on my bed, trying to make sense of what or how am i supposed to feel. Nowadays it doesnt even hurt anymore, I guess the sensations in the nerves have wilted out over the years. It hurts so bad it doesnt hurt anymore. I still needed to know what am I supposed to feel- because the darkness seemed to trump the faint light that was struggling to peek. And I wanted that light, albeit small, its much better than the mostrous darkness. The darkness is like a canine, a hound may be- just the presence of it sometimes is ominous.

As much as my sinister lower self tried to let itself fall prey on the sadistic, merciless predator, my corresponding meek, vulnerable, still wanting to live and not leave part saw something. Something that no matter how much my ego tried to dismiss saying the tragedy is greater- failed.

The Moon. The moon and I have come pretty close since last winter. I like it. When I am alone among the 6bn people in the world, the moon joins me and we silently glorify our Creator everynight. 

In the Quran, Allah says He is 

Everything that is illuminating- sun, moon, star- all are from Allah’s Light.Even in that dark, ruthless night, the Moon was there with me, and through it, Light of My Creator. Even in that turmoil of emotions, amidst the chaos of my raging heart, I noticed how beautiful the Light was. Soft, subtle, silently illuminating the very area where I pray. For a moment my thoughts drifted to the moon, that Light, those memories. I remembered my dream dua- that of my dream home, where I pray to Allah in the depths of the night, with the moonlight filling up my entire bedroom, falling right on my bed. The very bed where I was sitting that time and thinking about it all.

So I got up, gently pulled the blanket aside, and joined the moon. Together we silently glorified Our Creator, and as I prayed for my dream life, I hope it joined me too.

Perhaps thats why the night was so dark, thats why I had to hear what I hear, went through the incidents of that night. So I could see that the only pretty thing that night was the moon.

And my dream duas.