When we make dua for ourselves, we ask for what our heart truly wants. We ask for every big or small needs and desires, even the “silly” ones we can’t tell anyone. It is because we truly want it, and while the rest of the world might be judging us about it, we keep quiet and secretly ask Allah for it. Those are some of the sinceremost duas.
For the same reason, I think it is important to NOT make random duas for others. If you are making dua for someone to be married, have children, go for higher studies, or anything else- please make sure they want it as well. Dua is no joke. Its a beautiful gift, and perhaps the best gift we can give someone.
When you go to the store to buy someone a gift, you always make sure to pick something they like. If you dont know them well, you use whatever knowledge you have them to take a pick. Then why not in dua? Why are you making that dua for that person without knowing if thats what they want? Or if they want something, and you dont want to make dua for it because you think its too difficult or not something you approve of, please refrain from making any dua at all. You will actually do the person a greater good.
We are not doing anyone a favor by making dua. So we dont get to pick or judge anyone for asking for anything. The prophet (peace be upon him) said “For whoever the door of dua has opened, the door of mercy has opened”. The fact that this person is sincerely making dua itself is a proof of Allah’s mercy. You and I do NOT get to decide what they will make dua for. Allah says “…Whoever believes in Allah, He will guide his heart”(64:11). So the fact that the person has believed in Allah enough to make dua for- means that Allah is guiding their heart.
We humans sometimes focus so much on our “right and wrong” policing, that we forget that Allah’s mercy is All Encompassing- it covers black and white; but also 50 shades of grey. In so many matters in our lives Allah gives us so much leeways, even to reach the sacredmost of stations we sometimes take the route which is deemed wrong by humans, and Allah still grants us success in a manner which only befits His majesty.
Musa’s mother threw the baby in the river. Why? Because Allah inspired her to. Is there anyway she could prove that inspiration? Is there anyway she could tell others to help her? NO! Why? For the same reason. Because our black and white world would label her as a sinner because she left her baby to die, or more commonly, she has lost her sanity. If it were today’s time, the more accepted explanation would be effect of tv series. Noone would actually want to believe her, in fact even make any attempt to do so. She sent her daughter to look for her baby because she couldnt trust her friends/neighbors to understand where she is coming from. And by the way, she was no prophet. Allah does not call her anything but a “mumin (believer)”. Stories in the Quran are not mere stories. They happened to people like you and me, and are recorded there for a reason. Reading all the tafseers in the world wouldnt help if we cant live and experience the verses in our lives. Thats when Quran changes lives.
So stop judging what others are seeking for. Try to help them by understanding and participating in their dua journey, and if you cant, if your heart doesn’t agree, its okay. Just dont make any dua for them which they dont want in their lives. If yo ask me, thats inhumane to make dua for someone which is totally against what they want.
As I always say, take any good you get, and leave the rest to collect dust.